School Again

It's almost here. School is about to begin again. I'm physically ready, but not mentally ready. I don't want to begin the year feeling like I am just a page ahead of the kids. Planning is the hardest part for me, and beginning with a new curriculum makes it even more challenging. I'm so glad my friend is doing this with me. It helps take some of the pressure off. Thank goodness. You'd think that after all these years of being a teacher, I'd be more sure of myself. I guess it's different when you're personally involved with the kids, and you are with them 24/7.

Deep breath. I love teaching. It's what I was meant to do. I just wish I was more gifted in the areas that make it an easier thing to do.

What a trip!

Germany, it's more beautiful than I ever thought. I was recently fortunate to accompany my husband on a business trip there. We also brought our 12 year-old son. Because of his many hours of accumulated flight time, we were able to fly business class, which was a great blessing. There's nothing I hate more than being cramped in a seat for 10 hours! It's the little things in life that make me happy...leg room, my own t.v., food and drinks whenever, and did I mention being able to lay out FLAT to sleep? Ahh... It was a nice flight. Sigh, if only we could always have that much luxury, the airport would be a much nicer place to be. Moving on...The countryside was green and full of farmland. The cities were clean and charming. Well, the towns were charming. The cobblestone streets, old brick buildings and statues everywhere reminded me of the rich history that lay in everywhere I looked. We spent the days roaming the towns and exploring castles and museums. Ron worked only two days, so we got to spend some good time together as well. Each day brought new insight into the country's rich history. The culture shock for my son was immediate, but after a few days, he was trying to order food and speak to shopkeepers. I was a bit worried at first, but he soon relaxed enough to enjoy himself. He loved it more than he ever thought. It was a great experience to share with him, and I hope he always remembers his special trip with mom and dad. We took more pictures that humanly possible. Now I just have to go through them all! Aside from one scarey event (which I am forbidden to mention, or else suffer the wrath of a pre-teen), this was a wonderful forray into the foreign lands across the globe.

Dementia Sucks!

I just had a rough week. Educational, but rough. My parents came to visit. I love them. Dad was having a tough time with Mom, so I decided to take her for the day to give him a break. Wow. You see, Mom has had several mini strokes that has caused her to suffer from dementia. Now she is at about the same intellectual level as a one-year-old. The difference is, she is dangerous. She is strong, healthy (mostly) and able to escape without detection. Like a one-year-old, she will wander right into traffic, or down the street. It was a scary day. After about eight hours, I had to call Dad to come home because she kept trying to go out and find him. I felt bad because I couldn't control her as well as I had hoped. Poor Dad. I don't know how he does it. I just hope we can find a place for them to live where all concerned are happy and safe. With money being tight, and options limited, it's quite a challenge right now for Dad. I just pray that their circumstances change for the better soon. God is good. I know He's got a plan for us.

Momness, Mortals & Me

*Caution: Venting, Ramblings of a tired mom follow. Read only if you have a strong tolerance for weakness and moms.

I'm back to my blog, finally. It seems so long since I've been able to just sit and breathe, let alone think of things to write. Where am I? That's the question for today. I've been home alone (a rarity) this evening wondering..."What am I supposed to be doing?" Do I rest? It is Sunday, the day of rest - after all. Do I clean house? I can't, 'cause my back is out. Should I read my Bible? Of course! But all I can manage is a nap. Afterward, the question comes again. I ask myself again..."What should I be doing?" But not in the sense of immediately, I'm talking about in life. What are my priorities now, and what SHOULD they be? Are they the same? Unlikely. Um...no. OK, now what?

It must be this just-turned 40 thing I guess. Life reevaluation. Mid-life crisis? Not sure that's it so much, as just giving myself a tune-up. I need to refocus myself in the right direction. More God, less me. I've been so focused on my family lately, that I have completely left the Lord out of the picture altogether. Talk about screwed up priorities.

I spoke with two friends today who gave me a bit of a reality check. Thanks guys. God works through you even when you don't know it sometimes. One person could relate to exactly where I was in my "momness", where the other person gave me some advice that was sorely needed. Thanks Marsha and Jerry.

Have you ever felt like you are the worst mom on the planet? Does it ever seem like there are more things that you do wrong instead of right? That's me today. Intellectually I know it's not true, but internally - in my gut - that's where it hits hard. I'm not perfect (which totally sucks, since I'm a PERFECTIONIST). Go figure. I guess that's one of the Lord's little inside jokes for us. Make us want to be exactly what we can't, so we have to rely TOTALLY on Him. No glory for me today! That's the word of the day. Glory. It's not meant for the likes of us mere mortals. Is it?

I guess it boils down to this...I'm not God. Shock of all shocks! Guess that means I'll have to settle for being a child of His who needs occasional discipline and love. Oh, and a hand up once-in-a-while. I think I can handle that.

'Tis the Season

Christmas is over. The turkey is gone. The gifts are unwrapped, but the tree stands alone. What's the deal with taking down the decorations? It's a simple thing right? Not so much. For some reason, I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I guess it's some sentimental subconscious thing I have. Putting it all away means admitting that it's all over. I don't feel the post-holiday blues or anything. I just like the prettiness of it all. But sadly, the time has come. It must all go away again to the deep, dark recesses of the black hole (a.k.a. the garage), to be tucked neatly away until the holidays come again.

There is a happy side to all this...Next, comes Spring! I love springtime. The colors change again to their lovely pastels, and green is everywhere. I attempt every year to successfully plant something, and not kill it. Some years are better than others. The sun comes out more, the days are longer, and the kids get to be outside more. Don't you love the smell of freshly mown grass? It's one of my favorites. I even enjoy mowing the lawn (occasionally). I love to garden, even though I have to brown thumbs. It's good therapy for the soul, even if I don't do it very well. I love to have the kids help me. The girls love to dig in the dirt too. They like learning about the different types of flowers. I like teaching them to appreciate God's creation. Love it. Get out there you all, and plant those roses! Then smell 'em.

Scrapping Madness

This weekend was a fun but exhausting one. I began the week fighting a cold, which in turn, proceeded to threaten my plans for the following weekend. My friends and I were scheduled to attend a convention designed for the sole purpose of feeding the addictions of many unfortunate souls. To what am I referring? Why, scrapbooking of course! Just think of it...hundreds of women (and a few brave men), filling a major downtown building in Belleview, in order to peruse, purchase and later consume a mass of paper products. Why you may ask? Because...because it's necessary, um, for the future betterment of generations to come! Yeah, that's it. Because it's just not good enough to put pictures in photo albums. We must also journal the events, label all necessary people involved, and (of course) decorate the whole enchilada! Embellish, I mean...Embellish them. It's not just decorating. It's improving and adding to the meaning, the artistic enjoyment, the flair of it all! You probably won't understand unless you are one of the chosen ones. We are a sisterhood bound together by the bonds of paper, adhesives and eyelets. We can spot a sale on embellishments a mile away. When a coupon for the craft stores comes to our doors, we hit the shop in droves, all hoping for a glimpse of that perfect trinket to complete our latest project. There are usually 5 or so in progress at any given time. But I digress.

The weekend began on Thursday with me taking off in the van with my friends. Just us girls. What fun. We settled into our hotel just in time for my first phone call. "Hello?" "Hi, it's me. Meghan just threw up all over YOUR car! What do I do?!" (Insert quick explanation, encouraging and CALM advice here.) As you'd expect, there were a few other calls following that one, but the crisis was eventually over. I was very proud of my husband. There was a time not long ago, when I'd have been begged (i.e. told) to come straight home to help. He handled it all by himself and did a great job. I felt bad being away from home having fun, while my baby girl was sick. But Daddy stepped up to the plate, and she was better a day later. Thank you Lord!

To make a looong story short, we came, we bought, we scrapped 'till we dropped! It was a very productive time, as the products were to be used as Christmas presents for the families. Sorry guys, now you know what you're getting. I'm sure you're not surprised. :) The best part? When I returned home. My family was well, getting along and happy to see me. I hugged, I loved on 'em, then...I crashed! I've been sick ever since.

Emma's blog

For those of you who don't know, Emma now has her own blog page. It is located as a link on my page at the right. You can only view it by invitation only, so if you want to read it let me know and I'll add you to her "allowed" list.

The Recital

The evening began with our 3 G.E.M.s scurrying about the house putting on the final touches to their costumes. They had the hair done, makeup on, masks, helmets, etc. Off we went to our...piano recital. It was so cute. There they were, the kids and their friends all in their special costumes for Halloween, ready to play the piano for moms and dads. First, Minnie Mouse was up. She proceeded to improvise her newly-found talent on the "white keys" with her teacher at her side. It was precious. So proud when she finished, she took a great big bow while carefully balancing those sequin-ensconced ears. Her smile was so big. Then after a few others, it was the Cheerleader's turn. All prim and proper (so unlike her usual self), she assumed the position. She began only to stop again. A pause. Another attempt. Pause. One more time...success! With a few glances at teacher during her performance, she finally got to the place...that place of confidence. "I don't need no stinkin' music" she thought to herself. So just to make the point, she throws her music over her head and proceeded to finish the piece sans notes. When it was over, the bow, the grin and the triumphant "I didn't need the music anymore!" (Whose kid is that anyway?) Finally, It was brother's turn. The Clone Trooper. He took his helmet off before he began at least. His countenance became very somber. This was serious business you know. The most difficult piece of the evening, he began. Again there was a pause. A glance at teacher. Another beginning. After several attempts, he finally found his fingers and did himself proud. This was new for him, to be this nervous at the keyboard. But he finally finished, made a choking motion to the video camera I was holding and was quietly seated (after much applause of course). Seeing these three put themselves out there is so fun to watch. They love music, but more than that, I think they love the attention. So much like their parents! It's a joy (and sometimes a frightening thing) to see so much of myself in them. They always surprise me and often reflect me. So I definitely need to keep on my toes and make sure that I'm always practicing, so I don't end up "choking" in front of them!